RECKLESS BEATS is a musical feature where I incorporate a little music into this bookish blog.
I know today isn’t Monday, but I felt this needed to get on here ASAP.
Today’s song of the day is… ugggghhh, this song is my jam right here. I would even go so far as to say it’s my song of the year. (I’m not joking here.) Literally one of the most inspiring and uplifting videos I’ve watched in awhile. And the lyrics?
Oh… This song that speaks to me on a soul deep, personal level.
I’ve been in a sorta dark place for a while now (YEARS, if I was being completely honest…), and when I first heard this song, it was like… like I had been waiting for the universe to say, “Enough was enough. You need to remember something important about yourself.” And… next thing I knew I sort of recharged my battery and got back into the groove of things. I wrote another book, I got a new job, and I got rid of all the people in my life that were dragging me down with their negativity and unsatisfied, always complaining nature. I reminded myself of what it felt to just… feel good as hell again.
In some ways I hadn’t even realized I was in such a dark place because I’m a very driven person. Sadly, I can let that drive turn me into a tunnel-vision workaholic that drowns out all the bad around me in my work without feeling anything but the negativity as fuel to keep me going harder and sinking deeper and deeper into myself. I realized it wasn’t self-doubt or any failure I saw in myself that had me in such a dark place. It was… the injustice of the world around me, and the way people I thought cared about me had been treating me and others like me as though we were something to be taken for granted. That my kindness and willingness to help was something that was just a given right instead of a gift and a way for me to show I care —
But lemme not get into this right now.
For want of not turning this into a personal entry instead of a musical one, I’m just going to say that anyone feeling like they’ve hit rock bottom or that no one understands what you’re going through, or that everyone is just against them… know that you’re not alone, and even more so, that you’ve got keep trying, keep moving forward.
Not for your mother, your father, your sister or brother, your daughter or son, your loved ones…
Don’t do it for anyone else, but yourself.
Don’t try to live up to anyone else’s expectations but your own. Live for yourself. Feel incredible for being YOU.
You have the right to feel good as hell for simply trying every day — just keep on keeping on. I swear to you, one day you’ll stop and look at the world around you and realize how amazing you are, even if no one else sees it. YOU DO. You will.
So without further adieu, here’s Good As Hell by Paul Rey!
LYRICS:
Broke free from your chains and the things that used to hold me back
You’ve lost the grip but I feel the print from your hand
Now I’m finally able to figure it out and
Understand
Who I am
Took control even though I thought I was too late
On the right track, but I was going the wrong way
They say dig where you stand
But I can’t stay
And dig my own grave,
Today I say
I feel like screaming till my lungs have no air
Feel like running, though I don’t know where
Feel like laughing till I’m drowning in tears
For the first time in years I feel…
I feel good as hell…
Broker than most though I feel richer than them all
Counting blessings as the rain begins to fall
Growing stronger, holding on to what I
Want
But I won’t
Brake down, hold my chin high never face down
That same old path again
Promise I will never look back again, cause…
I feel like screaming till my lungs have no air
Feel like running, though I don’t know where
Feel like laughing till I’m drowning in tears
For the first time in years I feel…
I feel good as hell…
I feel good as hell…
I feel good as hell…
For the first time in years I feel good as hell
And I won’t come down
Cause now I’m headed up
I can show you how
If you had enough
(just) pick yourself up
From the ground
Don’t you think of
Giving up now
Let’s walk down this road cause I know
I feel like screaming till my lungs have no air
Feel like running, though I don’t know where
Feel like laughing till I’m drowning in tears
For the first time in years I feel…
I feel good as hell…
I feel good as hell…
I feel good as hell…
For the first time in years I feel good as hell
Reckless Indulgence 