[Reckless Beats] David Bowie, my Hero, radiant star… is gone: a tribute

RECKLESS BEATS is a musical feature where I incorporate a little music into this bookish blog.

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I’m sure by now you’ve heard the news. On January 10th, 2016… Our Hero, our Thin White Duke, Our Goblin Prince, and extraordinary Starman, Ziggy Stardust returned to the stars from whence he came.

There really are no words.

The day it happened, I had no clue. Too busy with life and its madness, I knew nothing of the pain that would befall me the following day when my mother — so carelessly — said before I went out the door that morning for work, “Did you hear? David Bowie died yesterday.”

I remember being numb with shock, and sort of brushed it off. I didn’t have time for this right now. I needed to get to work.

And I did (thankfully) without any mishap.

But as soon as I got there and started getting ready for my day… it hit me. I just stood in my office and couldn’t breath. I felt something shrivel up inside. I couldn’t do anything. The whole day was an utter disaster with me accomplishing nothing but harboring pain and wretched sorrow.

It was like my heart was being crushed and smothered under an invisible weight inside my chest. As though the very same cancer that took him had wormed its way inside of me, too… locking hold, never letting go. I wanted to cry — and, by the way, I NEVER cry — but I couldn’t muster it without falling apart completely. So I soldiered on.

(PS — And by “soldiered on,” I mean I played one Bowie song after another all fucking day like a masochist, inevitably just making me feel worse and worse as the day progressed.)

But somehow I managed to remain at a constant wet-eyed state for 9+ hours until I got home, at which time I promptly run into the bathroom, stripped, and let the shower rain its tears upon my face so no one would ever know… (As if no one would ever know… *pft*)

I don’t know about you, but Bowie was… and IS, a figurehead in my life. He is… music and creativity, gender fluidity and non-apologetic sexuality; he is unique yet wholly relate-able, bizarre and wondrous —

— and literally one of the first people I’d ever known to willing showcase their many “faces” — or personas, if you will — to the world, by becoming them, embracing their strangeness and oddities… unafraid (or perhaps very afraid) of what other people might think.

And now he’s gone.

Since I couldn’t get into my friggin’ blog, I couldn’t even post anything here on Reckless Indulgence when it happened. Truthfully, maybe that was a good thing. I think I needed the time to digest and let it sink in. The world is a duller place now that he is taken from us, but the stars up above do seem a little different now that he’s gone.

As tribute to the man who would be king, I’ll share with you some of the songs that made Bowie my one true hero.

dividerSpace Oddity

Starman

Under Pressure (Queen & Bowie Live)

Sound And Vision

Black Star

Ashes To Ashes

Lazarus

As The World Falls Down

Nature Boy (David Bowie & Massive Attack)

Without You I’m Nothing (Placebo & David Bowie)

Magic Dance

Dead Man Walking – acoustic 1997 (on Conan)

Heroes

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Goodbye, dear Starman. I’ll never forget you.

Fill the night sky with your radiant and dazzling light.

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We can be Heroes, just for one day…

 

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